| Sunday, August 21, 2005 |
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hello everybody i am back. hmmm ok i kinda thought abt wad will happen if i were to get retained. 1) i will be dead -killed by my dad 2) i will be the black sheep of the family 3) all of my friends will be my seniors 4) i will be following desmond's footsteps, which is not good 5) i am going overseas- the one i fear the most. i dun understand it, i contradict myself. i want to go overseas so that i can be freed but yet i dun want to leave at the end of this year you know, i saw the farewells today, saw them holding back their tears, saw their fear. i realised it could be me. me at the end of this year. i dun think i am ready to abandon everything here and lead that life somewhere else, where i am devoid of friends, devoid of you. i dunno if anyone will care, but i kinda put myself in their shoes and thought about it. it is scary. to say the truth now, i am scared, scared of getting retained most of all, cos that will lead to all other bad stuff. i gotta study study like never before, people who see me eating in the canteen, outside playing a fool, or going out to play and all that, kindly just give me a kick in the ass and drag me to the library to study. i will appreaciate that. i just cant seem to concentrate. If i go overseas, will u miss me? at least i know karen will haha. dun cry too much. u still have me even though they are gone! :) they will come back one day. ironic me. i guess farewells are like funerals, cos the urge of crying is just there. inka and cleo i will miss u. everyone has been asking me abt you. i dunno wad to say. i just want to run to a corner and bear my guts out to the wall. i dunno wad is happening anymore. the distance increases, keeps on increasing. it is time to get back to studying. |
| peibei 7:55 AM |
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| peibei- eighteen basketball rjc 11th Jan 1988 boring stupid antisocial haha. loving--- all my friends, music, books, music, friends. |
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| music |
| Juliana Theory, The Used, Linkin Park, Further seems Forever, Funeral for a friend, Michael Learns to Rock, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, The Ataris, MAE, motion city soundtrack, lost prophets, Hot Rod Circuit, Hot Hot Heat, Alexisonfire, Jason Mraz, Blink 182, Thrice, My chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, Jimmy Eat World, Twelve Stones, Disagree, Iron Maiden |
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| living through hell with. |
| somewhere along the way we lost our heads we dont need these happy endings i am waiting for the final moment you say the words that i cant say. |
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