| Friday, January 06, 2006 |
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went for orientation today, it was a disappointment. i saw an acs barker guy, the way he walks and wears his u, brings back memories. the cheers and all bring back fond memories of my orientation too. i remember barry used to not like me. and all the guys think i am kinda wild. hmmm. i remember being the k'ruz? hahhaa i have no idea how i became that though. you know when i saw the orientation, i really really wanted to be an ogl. well. too late like wad karen said. i wonder if it is right for a friend to keep on putting people down. sigh aren't friends supposed to be supporting each other? i dunno. sometimes i tink i can tolerate almost anything people say about me. but there are some things that will just hit me on the face. some things that throw me off guard. like being weird? i dunno. am i? seriously, maybe i just dun belong to this school. i dun even know i got in here! sigh i dun get wad everyone else is talking about, or i am just too slow. i cant seem to catch up even if i try. and then everyone says i am dumb. maybe i really am. bel says i always think too much. bah. but today's constant reminder of ac made me wonder whether i really did make the right choice in coming to rj. true, i made a lot of good friends here esp the bball team, but would things have been diff. but seriously wad's the use of thinking abt this anymore? no use crying over split milk. sigh but i wonder when my past will stop tormenting me. i tink if you are nice to me, i will be nice to you too. people ask me why i am so bad to my father. well you dunno my father, do you? anyway. i tink since i am already in rjc, i might as well make full use of this opportunity to make myself smarter and more normal tooo. another resolution. i realised today that me bel and mel are bad presents' shoppers. hahahaa. i am grateful for you guys really. esp when i heard you guys stood up for me. i realised perhaps in the end even though i tell myself to not be bothered with how people think about me, i still do. and a lot. i guess i just dun want people to hate me. i already have one who does. someone who matters a lot. someone who will perhaps hate me forever. perhaps in rjc, there is really sth called reputation that matters. sometimes i think i am so out of place because i just cant do what all these people can do. i simply am not able to concentrate. i tink it is getting back to me. the short attention span. i wish i am smarter and then i will stop making a fool out of myself. |
| peibei 8:37 AM |
| profile |
| peibei- eighteen basketball rjc 11th Jan 1988 boring stupid antisocial haha. loving--- all my friends, music, books, music, friends. |
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| music |
| Juliana Theory, The Used, Linkin Park, Further seems Forever, Funeral for a friend, Michael Learns to Rock, Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, The Ataris, MAE, motion city soundtrack, lost prophets, Hot Rod Circuit, Hot Hot Heat, Alexisonfire, Jason Mraz, Blink 182, Thrice, My chemical Romance, Taking Back Sunday, Jimmy Eat World, Twelve Stones, Disagree, Iron Maiden |
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| living through hell with. |
| somewhere along the way we lost our heads we dont need these happy endings i am waiting for the final moment you say the words that i cant say. |
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| Credits |