on regrets.

i just so recently bought a shirt. the shirt says "somewhere along the way we lost our heads". how apt. how true. the way i see it, it means somewhere along the way, we do sth stupid, so totally not us, something that perhaps we will regret for life, sth that signifies losing of heads. that shirt is my fave shirt now though. i guess everyone has regrets. everyone has done sth wrong before. top on my regrets list is 31st Jan. it shld never have happened. i know i should have thought about it longer, i should never hav agreed. but i did. and there. my head is gone perhaps forever? regrets i guess is a form of living in the past, and as a person who constantly lives in the past (i admit) i am full of regrets. i can forgive others for what they did to me, i can forgive him for everything that he had done to hurt me, but i cant forgive myself for allowing myself to be hurt, i cant forgive myself for making the wrong choices. i just cant forgive myself, and it will thus stay with me for long. i miss being a little more happy go lucky, because with age, there are more regrets weighing down. wait, that doesn't make me sound like a seventeen year old does it, makes me sound so much older.

what can we do with regrets then? strangely enough, i cant do anything about it. well, most of the time even if the bitter feeling is there, we just have to let it go. whenever that particular regretful event, topic, incident pops up in your head, just try to brush it off. at least that's what i do. think about happy stuff (that's if you can find happy stuff in the first place) i know this may sound strangely depressing but i bet everyone will have sth they wish had never taken place, sth they wish to forget, wish to let go.

i once read a book. the book said "the past shapes the present." Likewise, the past will shape ur char in the present, past meaning regrets in this case. well. i kinda agree. my past, has taught me to be forgiving, to give and let go. it also added a darker side to my char. it has also taught me to be less trustworthy, to try not to always look at the positive sides of people. of course, the most impt thing it taught me is to forgive(though not myself). as i said, it is in the past.

i dunno how everyone out there feels about regrets, but i know sometimes i hate it but other times i am grateful for that, because it makes you remember everything and ensure you wont make the same stupid mistake again. that is what i get from regrets. and you know you are regretting when all those memories you treasured so much, all those happy memories, all turned into ur worst nightmares. that's the power of regrets, some may hate it some may relish it. but i choose to see it as only part of my life, and perhaps that will put me nearer to forgiving myself.

in fact, i am slightly grateful for all that regrets had in store for me. perhaps that's an early sign that i am going to remain single all my life, because i forgot to mention one thing, regrets make you give up hope on some things u believed in. that may be the downside to some, but i like that. there is nothing better than crushing your hopes and dreams way early in your life so that you can have a steady and fulfilling life without daydreams and fairytales in the future.

but isn't it good once in a while to believe in those fairytales? bullshit, you will just become like another me.